can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize