And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
