your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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