Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize