Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
