I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
