i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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