I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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