He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
