Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
