This is not my ceiling
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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