ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Randomize
