Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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