Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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