also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
