How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
