you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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