They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
