we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
