He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
