I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
