Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
