party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
