Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
