I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
