what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
