Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
