Taylor Swift is so right about you.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Randomize
