White coat. Heels.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
