you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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