The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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