I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
