Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
