the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
