Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
