I've blown a few things in my day
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
