all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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