Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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