She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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