I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
