why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
