She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
40s are totally the cure
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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