Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
