some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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