When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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