i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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