piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
