Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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