i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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