smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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