I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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