Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
