shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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