then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
