Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
