I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
