thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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