This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
