i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
