But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
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im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
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fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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